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My Dear Mac and Cheese

Comment & Rate 09-Sep-2014

Dear Diary,

So, I decided to go on a diet. Quite frankly, sharing the office with a pregnant lady of twins, does not help. Some things I am okay with, while others just don't make this easy. Today, my very pregnant officemate waddled in with a bowl of creamy cheesy mac and cheese, with just the right hint of jalapeno’s. The smell is too die for! The rough part is, today is only day 2. It sucks balls to be so limited and idle in such a glorious smell.

I am not always huge on mac and cheese, but my oh my, I think today it has become my new favorite food. Oh the problems of being fat! The shitty shitty problems of constraints to heavenly high calorie cheese sauce! Bless my heart and soul who shall dream of mac and cheese today!


what it's worth

Comment & Rate 06-Sep-2014

Dear Diary,

I wanted him with every inch of my being, so badly, I felt it tingle my skin, my lips, my thighs, my chest...and I stopped, I waited, because I wanted to see if it was real. Can that heat be real? I feel it is. I thought if he really wants it he will come back. I've spent my whole life trying to slow things down, my impulses are a thousand times faster than a normal person. Funny thing is the same impulses are rooted in my intuition and that intuition is so incredibly accurate its kind of scary. I'm ready to breathe, I'm ready to be happy, I'm ready to be fearless, I'm ready to jump, I'm ready to get hurt because it's worth it.


Convenience over Choice

Comment & Rate 31-Aug-2014

Dear Diary,

It doesn't matter what I was doing, if I saw you calling I would pick up in a heartbeat. And maybe that is my mistake, making myself too accessible. Making me so accessible that you have taken it for granted. You call, text, and hang out with me when it is "convenient" to you. I don't want to be your convenience, I want to be your choice, the choice that needs effort, the effort which shows you care, even if you're too "tired." -J



Comment & Rate 30-Aug-2014

Dear Diary,


So noisy. I can't sleep.

Comment & Rate 26-Aug-2014

Dear Diary,

I think my new next door neighbor is having sex. Either that or he owns a pet donkey.



Comment & Rate 16-Aug-2014

Dear Diary,

minsan kay langan natn ng space pro. Dapat ang space d pipatagal dahil may tao na umaasa sa araw na ito ngayun q lang na intindhan na kailangan ko sya kaht na snasab ko na galt ako sa kanya .....


the notebook

Comment & Rate 10-Aug-2014

Dear Diary,

I'm a girl and I've never seen this movie. I guess it's kinda a big deal for girls. If I've gone this long without seeing it I should be fine, right? The fact my boyfriend never ever lets mechoose what we watch on TV should lower my possibility of seeing this movie. What's the big deal about this movie anyways?



Comment & Rate 22-Jul-2014

Dear Diary,

MERA BIRTH DAY 28.07.2014


Tool box

Comment & Rate 01-Apr-2014

Dear Diary,

How can a guy be a total tool yet not actually own any tools...not a screw driver, a wrench, a hammer?


Fam Damnly

Comment & Rate 25-Mar-2014

Dear Diary,

I am sick of writing about my demented family. My sisters just called me via speaker phone to bitch about the criminally insane members of our family, namely Grandma. Yes, I agree it is bizarre and insensitive for my grandmother to telephone my sister, lecture her, and tell her she is an ungrateful, ungiving brat especially after she has been there to help my grandma in her failing mental and physical state. However, at the end of the day, Grandma is losing it, all of it. She already lost a majority of it, I’m sure through electric shock treatment, and I am not sure how much she had to start with. Calling me and telling me about the scenario in a yelling, complaint driven tone is not a pleasant experience for me. This situation only becomes more ridiculous when my sister goes on to tell me she isn’t picking up her phone when grandma calls and she makes a point to say “Grandma hasn’t even apologized.” Yeah, no shit, Grandma needs no apologies.


Bathroom break

Comment & Rate 20-Mar-2014

Dear Diary,

Couldn't sleep. I decided at 3 o'clock this morning to just go into the office. Aside from being able to get shit done without the constant interruptions of these fuck-up co-workers, I also earned the honor of being the first person to rest her ass on the clean toilet seats. Bonus!!


Jamo cleanse

Comment & Rate 15-Mar-2014

Dear Diary,

I thought about doing a juice cleanse for st. Patrick's day weekend, but I'm not sure how Jamo will mix with fruit and veggie juice.


Hammer time

Comment & Rate 06-Mar-2014

Dear Diary,

At first I thought that maybe it was passionate sex then I realized it was jack hammer pounding or the alternative of me doing ALL the work on top. And FYI there are more parts to my body then tits and ass. You're over thirty I'm not drawing you a diagram or giving you a lesson on how to touch women. Thank god for my vibrator.


The Break Up

Comment & Rate 10-Feb-2014

Dear Diary,

I am going to talk about it. He can go on about it too from his perspective. He can talk about my sad suicide attempts and my sleep farting.

I knew things were not going to work out when he described the most tragic part of his life being a bar fight. I don’t want to necessarily want to date another dude with daddy abandonment issues, but I find it silly to relate to some one who is upset about losing a bar fight from two years ago. I am still mad about the bar fight I had with my father from ten years ago.

I do look forward to having my freedom with food again. Dating a guy who counts calories I think may be worse than being in an eternal episode of Sex in the City. I get it. He crossed stereotypes and opened up discussions for men who have body dysmorphia disorder, but sometimes I just want to eat sloppy diner food at four in the morning blacked out with out having a moral discussion of what I am doing to my body.



Comment & Rate 31-Jan-2014

Dear Diary,

This morning I got all hopped-up on caffeine and went to battle with a sexist tweeter. The argument is over, but my unused arguments are coming out in the form of stinky anger sweats. #socialjustice



Comment & Rate 31-Jan-2014

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,
When it gets cold out, my gay-lady instinct to cohabitate becomes exponentially stronger. I'm about to ask the security guard in my building to move in with me.


I'm a Republican

Comment & Rate 29-Jan-2014

Dear Diary,

When looking on Yelp to decide which Planned Parenthood I should go to in order to get my cheap birth control (because I'm slutty yet responsible like that) I was quite entertained by all of the shady reviews about abortions. Even though I'm technically a "Republican..."



Comment & Rate 24-Jan-2014

Dear Diary,

If I mouth words at a guy who is looking directly at me and shows absolutely no response, does that mean he was staring at my chest?


Maybe I'll skip that last round of shots this weekend...

Comment & Rate 17-Jan-2014

Dear Diary,

Saw a [presumably homeless] man down an entire bottle of Listerine on my 3-stop, 5 minute train ride home from work last night. Depressingly impressive...


Work It Out

Comment & Rate 15-Jan-2014

Dear Diary,

Today I saw one of my coworkers in the gym at work. He was wearing a full suit and lifting weights. For one brief, very intense, moment he made eye contact with me. In that moment I thought I was the one who was wrong.